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Monday, May 19, 2008

Humor in Life -- conference experiences

This past weekend, I attended the Colorado Christian Writer's Conference. Before I get into the funny aspects, I had a fantastic time with 3 requests from 2 agents and 1 magazine editor and interest from 2 other book editors. That, plus discovering that all of my web design fliers and brochures were taken and I sold ALL TWELVE of my books that I consigned with the bookstore...and it turned out to be a promising experience.

Obviously, these events also allow you to re-connect with friends and meet some new ones. Several of us from ACFW spent time together at various opportunities and roped in other fiction writers or authors to join as soon as they could. Don't worry, we didn't use brute force or blackmail or any other form of threats...although that has been known to be done. :)

Some of the other memorable moments were:

  • watching 3 teams of 2 volunteers unravel toilet paper rolls as fast as they could while a team of 3 teenage guys used a rigged leaf blower with a paint roller attached to the end where the TP tube was hung and blew out the roll right over top of the conference attendees in the audience.
  • trying to catch Bill (bookstore volunteer) before he changed one of his wacky ties, so I could get the upper hand on his goofy wardrobe combinations.
  • walking through the cafeteria line and looking at the food available, trying to identify it as something other than science projects or unknown substances; once in a while the food was labeled on the buffet line, but not often.
  • going to the drink dispenser and having ice shoot out with a light touch of the trigger.
    trying to place trays in the moving conveyor before it disappeared behind the window and all contents of the tray were upended on the floor.
  • doing everything possible to avoid a collision with kids in the cafeteria who were zooming in and among other diners and looking to break land-speed records as they grabbed their trays to snatch a table, wolf down their food and race to the tray deposit conveyor area.
  • attempting to find a table to eat meals while surrounded by hundreds of young people and kids staying at the YMCA where the conference was held, and then meandering through a maze of tables to get drinks, condiments and other supplies after which the return to the table became a feat of extraordinary ability!
  • doing a dance on stage with a tablecloth under my feet as I cleaned up spilled coffee in preparation for a performer who would be dancing during the closing service.
  • driving all the way up a dirt and pothole-filled road to what looked like an abandoned cabin and depositing Kim's belongings there only to find out that she had been given a key to the wrong cabin, and that the entire area was closed, so we had to drive all the way up there and retrieve her belongings then transport and unload them in the *right* cabin -- only Kim would have this happen!
  • watching Darcie roll on the floor in the bookstore for a reason that escapes me at the moment.
  • driving home and following another car, where the driver swerved a bit and then turned into a strip mall area after seeing "Outback" and thinking it was the steakhouse only to discover it was a saloon!
  • swapping places with that car so we were in the lead and looking for a place to eat dinner, arguing over whether the state of Delaware was in the Mid-Atlantic region or New England, then spotting Olive Garden and turning, only to see a mall on the other side of the road just as we turned, which led us to change direction and get over to that side...all with the other car following us!
And the # 1 funniest moment by far was helping a friend with her luggage getting loaded into her car, setting down her rolling "briefcase" to rearrange what was in the back and then being told that piece was rolling away. I turned to see the organizer just strolling on down the dirt area into the slightly paved gravel area and headed right for another car. My friend couldn't chase after it, so I did, commanding it to stop rolling and stay right where it was. Of course, it didn't listen. But, I managed to snatch it before it hit the car and drag it back up the hill where I placed it in the back seat.

So much more happened, but it was all conference-related stuff. I might save that for later, or stick with this funny-flavored post and leave it at that.

Regardless, it was a great time. Now, back to the grind of work.

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