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Sunday, February 05, 2006

Beating the Past!

I sang for the first time this morning on the Worship Team at church. First time at this church, anyway. I've only been attending for about 2 years, with 5 previous churches in my repertoire. At the 3 previous, I was a member of the choir and sang solos at one of them. So, I'm familiar with being on stage. Put me in the limelight, and I love it. Ham it up real good!

Some have said it's why I'm a writer. Even as a child, I loved being in the spotlight, always telling stories or overly dramatizing the retelling of an event that happened. Experiences were always so much more interesting when I told them! *g* Of course, some of that desire to impress stemmed from moving 9 times by the time I was 14 years old. Never had time to make many real friends, so I always tried doubly hard to be accepted through my flare for dramatics.

Wasn't until recent years that I realized I've been struggling with a self-esteem issue and feelings of inadequacy for years. Unaware of it, I continued with life as normal. People were drawn to me, had fun when they were around me, thanked me for making them smile. How could there be a problem?

But, there was. And I'm still dealing with it.

Thank God for a solid Bible-based church like the one where I attend now. So far this year, the focus of the messages from the pulpit have been on personal anointing, purpose, self-worth, kingdom seeds within and being created for influence. Considering my inner struggle and constant battle, these messages went straight to my heart.

I'll separate the highlights into more than one message so this one doesn't get too long. But, to start, the focus was on anointing and how we each have it on our lives. The anointing flows through us and touches everything we touch, everyone we touch. It's our responsibility to pass on that anointing to others, to teach them what we've been taught so that when we pass from this life, the anoninting doesn't die with us in the grave.

There is also a divine purpose laid out for our lives. We have been strategically placed where we are to have an impact. Our abilities and talents and wisdom have been given to us so we can be *good* at what we do. We have been called to change society, not be changed by it. As a writer, that means getting the story written that has been placed on your heart so the words can touch other lives. It also means establishing relationships with other writers, so you can share your wisdom and knowledge and experience to guide them as they embark on their own writing journey.

For someone like me who was told at a very impressionable age that I couldn't possibly have any insight or wisdom to share with anyone older than I was because I hadn't lived enough of life to have any experience...the idea that I have a purpose and have been placed where I am with the abilities I have to make an impact is a refreshing change of pace.

I pray I don't squander any of it!


Storyteller said...

Good message. Thank you for sharing
blessings, e

Carol Collett said...

I struggle with many of the same issues. Writing is my heart. But being a nurse pays the bills. I can't stand being a nurse!
Thanks for sharing. I'm looking forward to the next installment.


Camy Tang said...

Most definitely! Isn't God's purpose cool? I've been learning lately how His power can overshadow my abilities, so it's along the same lines of what you're saying.

Unknown said...

God is SO cool the way He lets us know the gifts we have are from HIM. Keep striving and learning, girl, God's using you for His plan!

Paula said...

When I get insecure because of my age(and I'm a lot older than you!, experience, or stage of the writing journey, I remember that the Spirit of the Living God resides inside of me! He has all I need to live out His annointing and all I have to do is let HIM work through me. His word also says He gives wisdom to anyone who asks and that we have the mind of Christ. I'd say that's great preparation for God's calling. :o)

Very good post, Tiff!

Jenny said...

Tiff, do not let anyone tell you that you have nothing to offer due to your age (to paraphrase the Apostle Paul). What you have been dealing with is common no matter your years. But the understanding you have gleened puts you ahead of the game. That God euqips the called, not calls the equiped was a revelation to me. And freeing.

I look forward to reading more, kiddo. You are on to something important here.
Abundant blessings!

Dineen A. Miller said...

Nice post, girl. Love this line:

As a writer, that means getting the story written that has been placed on your heart so the words can touch other lives.

Tiffany Amber Stockton said...

Thanks, everyone, for stopping by. It's great to see how we can connect with our words and share a message on our hearts that echoes the hearts of others too.

I'm excited about the path God has me traveling. Looking forward to the journey we'll all be taking. Glad to have y'all with me.

Tiffany Amber Stockton said...

Carol, I can relate to that. Worked a lot of jobs over the years, many of which I dreaded every day. Came time to get out or be miserable. Praise God I have a job in a bookstore that keeps me in the book industry. Writing is still my heart and passion, but this job that's paying the bills is good enough for now.

I pray you find your contentment wherever you are and can experience peace in your present circumstances. Trust God. He'll never steer you wrong.

And on that self-esteem stuff? I'm getting better every day! God's pruning and prepping me for great things!