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Monday, April 07, 2008

Humor in Life -- Marital Communication and Raining Dip 'n' Dots

I'm a little late with this, but I'm glad. But I'll get to that after the first point.

Last year on this blog, I tracked the progress of my wedding plans. After getting engaged. I shared a special multimedia announcement my then-fiance and I created together to share the joy with others. And then came the wedding and the start of our marriage. So many people gave us helpful advice, and a lot of it fell into similar categories of how to avoid problems, how to resolve conflicts and how to stay happy in a marriage.

But one tip rang out loud and clear -- the importance of communication.

I can't tell you how often I meet a married couple and find myself amazed at their ability predict what the other one will say or anticipate each other's moves/actions/needs. People tell you that an earmark of a good relationship is when the two involved finish each other's sentences and talk without words.

Well, ESP, mind-reading and clairvoyance don't come with the ring.

In fact, it takes time and work to make it happen. Case and point. My car was having issues and had recently been serviced. But a week later, it was doing the same thing and I'd called the shop to have them look at it again. I was on my way toward taking it back. Only this time, the car would rev and not turn over. So, hubby had to come home from work and rescue me. I had gotten the car started but stopped to check the mail and got stuck in front of the mailboxes right at the entrance to our condo community.

It wouldn't start, so we had to push it. Well, I got in the driver's seat and he pushed. One problem. He wasn't talking to me as we moved it. So, I didn't know when and where he wanted me to steer. We were going in reverse so I was looking over my shoulder. I knew not to hit the brake but I also didn't want to hit anything, so when steering if we were getting close and I couldn't avoid it, I'd hit the break. We got to a point where we were trying to get it into a parking space and we were going to hit the car next to us. So, I hit the brakes and hubby got mad.

First, he asked me why I didn't steer. Then, he asked why I hit the brakes. Not long after that, he said "you're the driver." I knew that time wasn't the right time to jest, so I waited until he had cooled off to point out to him if he wanted me to go a certain way or do something, he needed to TELL me, not just think it. It took a little persuasion, but he eventually realized the folly in this experience. We both apologized for not thinking out the situation beforehand and made a pact to make sure we talked it out if it happened in the future.

Yeah, ESP doesn't come naturally. :)

Now, today, a few months later, we've gotten much better. Still have a long way to go, but it's a fun ride. Today, I joined hubby and our real estate agents for lunch. Without asking, he provided bread without me asking and second-guessed drink needs. He also seems to know when I could use a hug or loving touch.

We drove separate cars, so we left and headed in opposite directions...and I ran smack into blowing snow that turned into light hail. But this wasn't your standard-issue typical hail. This was soft, and resembled rain in how it fell, but it was solid enough to land with a soft thud on the car and the road. It accumulated on the windshield and gathered like ice pellets, but the pinging wasn't hard like ice. Added to that was getting closer to home and seeing blue skies with white, puffy clouds compared to the gray, overcast where the snow, rain and hail were. When hubby got home, he asked if I liked the weather. I told him, I loved it:

"It was raining Dip 'n' Dots!"

1 comment:

bjmiller98 said...

Ah, yes -- marital communication is definitely the "glue" that holds it all together. While we haven't quite gotten to the point that we finish each other's sentences (even after almost 36 years of marriage), we at least try to keep the communication lines open. Oh, and by the way -- I love Dippin' Dots!