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Monday, March 24, 2008

Humor in Life -- Whitewater Rafting, Dogs and Recliner Chairs...oh my!

For today's author spotlight, you'll find it below this post. I didn't want to skip out on my new goal for sharing some lighthearted stories to brighten your day. Last year at this time, I was posting weekly updates on the countdown to my wedding. Now that the craziness and hectic planning period is passed, you get the privilege of a glimpse into REAL life with me.

So, fasten your seatbelts. It's sure to be a bumpy ride!

Last week, I again spent time at Kim Woodhouse's home. Our typical "lunch" turned into an all-day affair, but the highlight by far, was watching Kim struggle with her recliner chair in the living room. She swears the thing's possessed and has it in for her. After seeing her try to get out of the thing, I'm inclined to believe her.

Quite easily, she kicks back and extends the footrest to relax and work on emails and other things on her laptop. But before long, it's time to move on to something else. So, she scoots forward and attempts to kick the footrest back in place, which will set the recliner upright again and allow her to stand.

Unfortunately, that's not to be for Kim. As I'm sure you've noticed, life tends to be a bit more complicated for her, and this recliner apparently knows it! It's not going to miss a chance to have its share of the pie, so it makes the footrest nigh onto impossible to go back in place. You can imagine the view at seeing someone sitting down and trying to kick a footrest back so that it clicks. If she tries to straddle the piece and get up, the chair reclines again and throws her back against the cushions, trapping her in its menacing clutches.

Finally, spent and exhausted from her own attempts, she frantically calls to her daughter, Kayla, to come and rescue her poor mother from the grasp of the evil recliner. Sweet Kayla comes, with a smile on her face and waits for Kim to lift her legs high in the air. Again, quite a comical sight. Kayla proceeds to plop onto the floor in front of the chair, brace herself and place her feet against the footrest. With a solid shove, the footrest clicks into place and Kim is free!

Thanks, Kayla!

And that's not all. If you've managed to catch your breath or scrunch your cheeks back into place after laughing at the above image, here's another one for you.

This past weekend, my husband and our puppy, Roxie, went down to my husband's parents' place for Easter. Once leaving the overcast and snowy Colorado Springs, the blue skies appeared and it turned out to be a beautiful day. So, we decided to drive a little further and snap some pictures of the snow-capped Sangre de Cristo mountains in the Wetmoor Valley. Along the way, we opened the windows in the back seat for Roxie so she could get a good whiff of the smells and fresh air down that way.

Well, we also recently learned that she's a Border Collie/Black Lab mix. As such, she has an instinctive "herding" nature in her that comes out full force when she's on a walk or in the car. It's commonplace to see a dog with its head out the window of a moving car. But, I don't know if you've often had the occasion to witness a dog's head whipping from the front to the back of the open window as a car passes going the opposite way. It's almost as if the wind catches hold of her head and decides to carry her head with it.

But, it's actually Roxie wanted to "herd" the cars that are getting past her. She doesn't want to let a single one of them get away, so she tries her hardest to get them back in place. It's a good thing we only allow enough room for her head. Otherwise, she'd no doubt be out that window in a flash. Viewing this from the front seat is quite the amusement, I assure you.

The final part of our drive had my husband listing off all the things he wants me to do this summer. Camping, fishing, hiking, and lots of outdoor things. All of that sounds good to me. But there is one thing that I'm not sure I can manage.

Whitewater Rafting!

Yes, that's right. My husband wants me to get into a large cylindrical rubber tube with paddles/oars on the side and foot braces along the bottom, then shove off from solid land into the menacing waters of the Arkansas River. Now, back East this wouldn't be much of an issue, as the rivers are mostly wide and somewhat least where I've canoed and tubed. But, out here? They're narrow and fast! Those two combinations just don't sound all that appealing to me.

Picture it with me. This open-topped and open-sided tube is bouncing and rushing along the choppy waters and glancing off of rocks in the riverbed, all the while being piloted by the rest of the passengers (me included!) with commands from the raft leader to paddle a certain way when we encounter a rock or particularly fast-moving rapids.

I can see it now. I'm sitting, feet firmly hooked under the braces to keep my bottom glued to the seat, oar in hand and witnessing the oncoming crash of water that's about to swallow us whole! Then, I hear the shout of the raft leader to paddle more to the left, then to the right, then backpaddle to slow us down. I wish he'd make up his mind! All the while, I'm frantically attempting to keep my feet secure and my bottom glued, because at any moment, I'm going to go projectile into the raging waters, pulled beneath the torrent and left behind by the rest of the raft members.

And so ends the tale of that poor gal who just couldn't keep her seat....

Umm...yeah. I don't think so!

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